First Against the Wall...

The Count

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:06:53 GMT

I nearly wet myself. As usual, thanks to Matt.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM

Prrrrrrobably not work safe...

Muhahahaha!

How unusual is this fetish?

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:57:47 GMT

I have Matt to thank for starting my day off with this:

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/use-the-force/storm-trooper-stripper-ok-prostitute-286173.php

...followed up by this:

http://gizmodo.com/5019917/stormtrooper-high-heels-are-key-to-all-your-sex-fantasies

They were just crying out to be blogged.

Thanks, Matt!

(You can be Darth next time, I promise. ;-))

Anybody in Ballard/Greenwood/Phinney like to walk for excercise?

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 16:16:30 GMT

Do you live or work in the Northwestish part of Seattle?

Do you enjoy walking for exercise? Kinda brisk-like?

Walking the Burke-Gilman or around Green Lake sounds nice in cool weather like this.

Walks are better with coffee waiting at the far end. Today the far end is Fremont. Or Frelard, or Walmont, depending on how motivated my feets are. I'm flying solo this morning, but looking for walking buddies for future forays.

Interested?

BTW - 6pm tonight is the Ballard Art Walk.

NOTE: This coming Saturday, June 21st, is the Fremont Solstice Parade. Talk about a fun thing to walk to! Taree and I are going for sure. I shall attempt to email the four of you about this.

Employee Saves Lusty Art!

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:38:17 GMT

From Seattle's P.I.:

"Thieves try to take erotic art from Lusty Lady

A Seattle strip club employee suffered bumps and bruises Monday when he foiled an attempted heist of erotic art..."

More here: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/366959_lustylady14.html

Starbucks challenging Rat City Rollergirls Logo

Thu, 29 May 2008 16:54:09 GMT

This just in from the "Can you believe this shit???" department...

"Starbucks, Rollergirls skating on thin ice over logos"

"BELLEVUE, Wash. -- A local roller derby team is going head-to-head against Starbucks over the right to use the team's own logo.

Starbucks says the Rollergirls' logo looks too much like theirs, but the Rat City Rollergirls say the two are distinctly different.

The Rollergirls' features concentric circles, two stars and a female figure in the middle. Starbucks' also features concentric circles, two stars and a female figure in the middle.

A Starbucks spokesperson says the Rollergirls' logo has a similar feel to theirs, but says the company is working with the Rollergirls to resolve the issue.

Rollergirl Sue Schmitz says trouble began after her team applied for a trademark, which is something the need before they can launch a new roller derby video game that is now in the works.

Schmitz says she didn't think any problems would pop up since the team has been using the image since 2004. She also says they never had any intention of making their logo look like Starbucks.

"Absolutely not," she said. "I don't think you could confuse roller derby with coffee.""

More at KOMO: http://www.komonews.com/news/local/19345659.html
(including video)

More in the P.I.: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/364425_sbuxlogo24.html

Best quote I've seen so far on the subject was this line from a Starbucks Gossip forum:

"the circles are pretty much the same shape"

And this response:

"Yes, that's true. They usually are."

The forum is here: http://starbucksgossip.typepad.com/_/2008/05/open-thread-c-3.html

Note that the above forum is not entirely dedicated to the logo fiasco.

Someone has already mentioned the Arm & Hammer Baking Soda logo:

It will be interesting to see all of the circular logos that people find to compare to the Starbucks logo. ;-)

The artist of the Rat City Rollergirl's logo is the fabulous Krysztof Nemeth (http://www.charm-school.com) who has two very sexy volumes of Pinup Art available for sale! Support sexy pinup art by purchasing one!

http://www.charm-school.com/hub.html

Mr. Nemeth, you ROCK!!

Now, can we kill all the patent attorneys?

Major Feedback Changes at Ebay

Thu, 22 May 2008 15:14:58 GMT

This morning a new screen popped up when I logged on to Ebay:

http://pages.ebay.com/services/forum/new.html

They have made major changes to how, when, and by whom, feedback may be left.

I had heard that something like this was coming (a vendor was complaining about the changes in his blog, and saying that he wouldn't be selling on Ebay anymore.)

After reading pretty carefully through the system changes, and Ebay's reasoning behind them, I'm stoked.

Having been the victim of "feedback extortion" only once, I can tell you that it was really upsetting. Ebay must have felt my pain, because these changes are designed to address that problem, among others.

What do you think of eBay's feedback system changes?

What do Seattlites do in the Summer?

Sun, 18 May 2008 14:51:06 GMT

What do Seattlites do in the Summer?

Well if it falls on a Sunday, we have a picnic!

(One of the few Seattle jokes I know.)

Thank you for the lovely birthday!

Fri, 16 May 2008 18:12:38 GMT

I think I'm 49 now, but I'll have to do some math in order to be sure.

Ouch!

Okay, that was enough math. Let's just estimate that I'm somewhere around 49 and call it good.

Special thanks to Taree for dinner and the lovely massage, to Matt for the suspension and the snuggles (and everything else!) and to Red for the suspended hair brushing, and the pink and black scorcher of an outfit! Taree and Matt, you looked nice too. ;-)

I'm so damn lucky!!

- Silver (going on gold)

The Coffin Couch

Wed, 14 May 2008 16:52:05 GMT

If only I had room for one of these in my cozy little flat:

The Coffin Couch.

From the website:

"...the six cast iron heavy duty legs are embossed with the universal biohazard insignia..."

The manufacturer says that it can hold 900 pounds. They don't specify if that's a static or dynamic rating.

Coffin couches come in other suitable, and less suitable, colors:

From LiveJournal

http://coffincouches.com/coffin-couches.php

Best Pick-up Line EVAR!

Tue, 13 May 2008 16:10:13 GMT

My favorite pick-up line of all time:

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Liquid Crack

Mon, 12 May 2008 16:06:56 GMT

At a crafty-type class on Saturday I was distracted by a wastepaper basket sporting the following handwritten sign:

No liquid crack
in bottom

First thought: Liquid crack? What'll they think of next?

Note that the text really was broken up just that way, in order to fit it on the basket:

No liquid crack

in bottom

My second thought upon reading said sign: Ah. Someone ran out of commas.

Third thought: While they are out shopping for commas, perhaps they should purchase an new garbage can? One that wouldn't be phased by liquid crack?

Note to self: Develop a line of attractive, liquid-crack-friendly waste baskets catering to new market niche.

Addendum: Remember to take meds on time when attending day-long crafting classes.

PSA - Penis Reduction Now Available!

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:15:33 GMT

I'm here for you, people! Penis reduction without the painful and costly shock treatments!

Better, even, than the bottle, is the box it comes delivered in:

Great gift for the newly engaged. Or for your dad.

Details here: http://www.penisreductionpills.com/

I particularly enjoyed their

BEFORE and

AFTER pictures.

Where else can you get these results for under $10?

One Ticket available for Sold Out Knotty Boys bondage class this Friday

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:25:00 GMT

Matt won't be able to use his ticket for Fridays Knotty Boys class, which is sold out, so we're making it available to you! We paid $20 for it, and would be happy to pass it on for the same.

The class is THIS FRIDAY NIGHT, from 7-9pm, at CSPC (The Wet Spot.)
Not sure if it will be in the main space or in the Annex.

Here's the class description from the Bodybound website: (http://www.ropelover.com/bodybound/event08.htm)

Bondage for Dominance

Learn more than a dozen bondage techniques to restrain, control or train your submissive. Skills and ties taught include: rope bit and ball gags, struggle-proof wrist bondage, dynamic full-access hog ties,fusion-styled chest harnesses, basic rope CBT & nipple tie-offs, scene transitions and orchestrations, aggressive exchange techniques and take downs. Please bring one 10' length and one 40' length of rope (3/8' - 5/8' diameter best). This is a hands-on, practice-rich workshop.

More info on The Knotty Boys:

Dan & JD began teaching their interactive workshops in 1999,
combining a light-hearted humorous style with the educational precision of
experienced instructors and lifestyle Doms. Their easygoing and humorously
informative teaching approach initially led to west coast celebrity status. But
their impact on the rope bondage scene expanded worldwide as authors of the best
selling guidebook, "Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes". Creators of over 30
YouTube rope bondage tutorials, Dan & JD are innovative educators, consistently
pushing the boundaries of what can be accomplished with rope. You can learn more at http://www.twoknottyboys.com/

Reply to this post if you are interested in the ticket!

Male Merge Syndrome

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:39:03 GMT

I posted this as part of a discussion on merging traffic on the Ballard Bridge.

"Some years ago I was romantically partnered with a young (30's) man
who had grown up in Spokane. His aggressive merge habits made me
extremely uncomfortable.

Eventually I called him on this "never, EVER, let someone in ahead of
you" policy. He explained that in Spokane, and possibly other places
east of the mountains, it is generally assumed that if you let a car
merge in front of you, your manhood will fall off. Possibly not
immediately, but, you know, in time.

I informed him that Seattle has different natural laws of manhood
retention. Here, Real Men, men who are secure in their masculinity,
men with a deeper understanding of the complicated car-manhood-merging
connection, will commonly let one, even two cars in ahead of them.

They sometimes even wave.

These same men go on to father children. Sensitive, liberal children,
but children nonetheless.

My ex was successfully retrained to Seattle politeness standards and
is now the proud father of a charming boy. (I had nothing to do with
this latter achievement.)

Perhaps a manhood-themed billboard campaign is in order?"

Matt points out that we'll need concept art. I'm already working on slogans:

"Real Men hold back"

"Would you rather have that guy in back of you?"

"Perfect your "zipper" technique!" (merging zipper)

"I saw him in my rear-view mirror, and it was love!"

"When he waved me in, my heart just melted!"

Um...

Ballard Pillow Fight!

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:59:02 GMT

From www.myballard.com (which rocks, by the way...)

"Feathers fly in Ballard pillow fight

Right on schedule, at 2:22 p.m in the middle of Ballard, a flash mob pillow fight began with a whistle blow. Pillows suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and over 50 people started swinging. Everyone was a little timid. At first."

More here, including great photos and some video!

Our Panel Schedule for This Weekends Norwescon

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 17:05:33 GMT

Hi All,

Below you will find a list of the panels that Matt, Tom and I will be participating in this weekend at Norwescon. In addition, I hope to be able to attend the Fetish Fannish Fashion show on Friday night from 9-11pm before running off to our 11pm panel.

Our Friday and Saturday panels will likely be standing room only, as they've put us in a small room. I'd advise you to arrive early and line up outside of Cascade 6 if you want to get in. Adults only, of course. The same goes for the FFFashion Show, only for that you'll likely need to be in line an hour or so before the doors open. On the plus side, the people in line are usually pretty interesting folk. ;-)

Our Panels:

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Answer is “No” Because You’ll Die Thursday 11:00 p.m. Cascade 8

Authors, come ask our panel of resident sexual deviants questions about your kinky sex scenes. Are they plausible? Would it require someone of a supernatural constitution to survive it? Why would someone do that anyway? 18+

Mickey(M), Robert, Lauri Miller

------------------------------------------------------------------------

BDSM 101 Friday 11:00 p.m. Cascade 6

Interested in BDSM? Want to find out what it’s all about? What are these “limits,” “boundaries” and “play” people keep talking about? Come to BDSM 101 and we will endeavor to answer your questions, or if we can’t, we’ll point you to a resource that can. We will also discuss BDSM etiquette and resources for you to find out more. 18+ ONLY WITH ID.

Laurie Miller (M), Matt Bamberger, Tightbound Tom, Russell Harmon

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sex Tech Saturday 11:00 p.m. Cascade 6

Explore the latest high tech options for achieving sexual bliss. From Bluetooth vibrators to modern violet wands, virtual sex tourism to the notorious Thrillhammer, we'll give you the lowdown on the latest in geeky sex toys! 18+ only

Laurie Miller (M), Mickey

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Advanced BDSM Saturday Midnight Cascade 6

Ok, you know about BDSM, you’ve even engaged in play and perhaps had a kinky relationship. Where do you go from there? Do you necessarily have to? What is “Edge Play?” We’ll explain all that and how to do the edgier things safely and sanely. 18+ ONLY

Laurie Miller (M), Matt Bamberger, Tightbound Tom, Mickey Schulz, Ogre Whiteside, Russell Harmon

------------------------------------------------------------------------

NetSex Sunday 3:00 p.m. Cascade 6

Online relationships, good or bad? Does the bad outweigh the neutral or even good experiences? Some tips on Net Safety and warning signs. ALL AGES

Eva-Lise(M), Laurie Miller

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please note: The only panel blurb above that I actually wrote is the one for Sex Tech. Also, I deleted last names where I thought the presenter might object to having them posted on the net.

To see the entire programming schedule, go here:
http://www.norwescon.org/events/eventschedule.htm

Our panels are part of the "Alternative" track.

Looking forward to an awesome weekend!

Blood-sucking Cell Phones of Dooooooooommmmm

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 03:12:30 GMT

Ripped from the pages of Circle23's blog:

Electronic tattoo display runs on blood from PhysOrg.com

Jim Mielke's wireless blood-fueled display is a true merging of technology and body art. At the recent Greener Gadgets Design Competition, the engineer demonstrated a subcutaneously implanted touch-screen that operates as a cell phone display, with the potential for 3G video calls that are visible just underneath the skin.

[...]

Ultrasound nails location of the elusive G spot

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 16:32:27 GMT

Here's a snippet from an interesting little article from New Scientist:

"FOR women, it is supposed to trigger one of the most intense orgasms imaginable, with waves of pleasure spreading out across the whole body. If the "G spot orgasm" seems semi-mythical, however, that's because there has been scant evidence of its existence. Now for the first time gynaecological scans have revealed clear anatomical differences between women who claim to experience vaginal orgasms involving a G spot and those who don't. It might mean that there is a G spot, after all. What's more, a simple test could tell you if it's time to give up the hunt, or if your partner just needs to try harder.
“A simple test could tell you if it is time to give up the hunt for your G spot or if your partner just needs to try harder”

"For the first time it is possible to determine by a simple, rapid and inexpensive method if a woman has a G spot or not," says Emmanuele Jannini at the University of L'Aquila in Italy, who carried out the research."

Here is the rest of the story.

I Heart Urban Spoon!

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:19:04 GMT

Urban Spoon is one of the most useful websites I've come across in a long time.

Headed out for a date and want to try something different? Hit Urban Spoon and see what's new and good in the neighborhood of your choice.

It's easy to rate your favorite restaurants, and there's a "wish List" where you can store the places you'd like to try. Plus, they pull in reviews from local papers such as the Stranger.

I like the map feature that shows you were a restaurant is located. It would be even better if you could move around on the map to see what else might be nearby, but I'm being picky.

It's only been a month or two that I've been exploring the site, so I'm sure there are still features to discover, but really - it's cool.

By the way, they have a fun newsletter that comes out (I think) monthly. The newsletter lists new restaurants in Seattle, and updates you on news and new reviews of your favorite restaurants.

Check it out: Urban Spoon

New Bush Coins!

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:40:16 GMT

Remember those fabulous faux commercials that the Saturday Night Live crew produced? My favorite was The Change Bank- "How do we do it? Volume."

This video reminds me of the best of those. Not safe for right wing offices.

http://blip.tv/file/520347

New Bush Coins!

Collect the whole set!

(NOT actually) John Cleese’s “Letter to America”

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 17:44:09 GMT

Tom sent me a link to this and I have to share it with you.

Dear Citizens of America,

In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.

Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese

Often credited as having been written by John Cleese, “Letter to America” has a complicated past. The version above was found here: http://starrgazr.wordpress.com/2008/02/15/john-cleeses-letter-to-america/

More information about it's actual roots (if you care) can be found here:
http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/government/a/revocation_a.htm

Many thanks to whomever wrote, edited, modified, or otherwise contributed to its creation. ;-)

Seattle Seafair Pirates in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:38:16 GMT

Thank god they're not the ones wearing the swimsuits.

More pirates here.

And here.

And here.

Cap'n Dick approves.

New Rule (stolen from syz)

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 17:19:05 GMT

syz came up with this:

"New Rule: Any email (especially from relatives) with a subject line that starts off with "Fwd: FW: FWD:" goes immediately in the trash without being read."

My corollary:

"Any blog entry with the word "meme" in it automatically gets skipped."

Shoe Fetish Fodder

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 17:46:32 GMT

WARNING! Do not click the link below unless you have a serious shoe fetish and a lot of time on your hands.

The Virtual Shoe Museum

I'm gonna go have a cigarette now...

I'd vote for him/her

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 01:50:39 GMT

Because I suck, I did not pull over immediately and take a photo of this the minute I saw it, and now they are all gone.

At the end of the 50th street off ramp from northbound I-5, there were several campaign signs for Ron Paul. About two weeks ago some clever person had hacked them all to read:

"Ru Paul for President"

If you know who did this, please give them a big sloppy kiss for me.